As it is often said, we are our own worst enemy, namely our own worst critic. We alone are aware of each and every way we fall short of the grace of God, so to speak… We are present for every failure, misstep, and other way we had missed the mark. No wonder we are often the first to reprimand and punish ourselves consciously and otherwise.

In his seminal best-selling book, “12 Rules For Life: an Antidote to Chaos” world-renowned intellectual, professor, and psychologist Jordan Peterson suggests we should “treat ourselves as someone we are responsible for helping.” The basic premise here is that if we are to be most helpful in the world, we need to thoroughly take care of ourselves so that we may be in the best position, physically, mentally, and spiritually to provide that help and minimize suffering. Our judgments of how we fall short can be used for constructive criticism, rather than self-torment.

One of the mental practices which completely revitalized my meditation practice, and more largely, my life, is that of non-judgment. Many people shy away from meditation, claiming they have tried it and it “didn’t work for them”. In reality, you can’t really meditate wrong, and if you believe meditation is about making your thoughts stop, you’ve gone about it all wrong…

The little chattering voice in your head that provides an endless stream of meaningless thoughts, or the “monkey-mind” as many gurus call it, is first of all not thinking. It is simply having thoughts. Real thinking involves conscious critical analysis, which requires most to actually speak or write their thoughts down to arrive at some useful end.

So if meditation isn’t silencing that pesky monkey-mind, then what is it? First, we have to accept the conditions of reality and come to peace with them. The mind wanders! We must accept that, and with non-judgment, we simply watch those thoughts like pass by like cars on a highway. We watch them not as a passenger who rides the emotional rollercoaster of each thought, but as an observer who watches them unattached, remaining equanimous.

When going about daily life, such an approach is far more useful. When you experience frustration, impatience, or any other persistent negative emotion, no matter the circumstance, whether caused by you or another, see if you may detach yourself from the judge inside you. See things as they are and allow yourself to imagine how you wish them to be, rather than reprimanding yourself or another. Identify the actual problem and imminently, calmly, start working toward a solution.

Judgment has its place, namely for identifying what you wish to improve in yourself and others. Although once identified, we ought to forgive and forget, moving most efficiently, and effectively toward our aim.